First Shot
by Bigi
Summary: Carrie Turner reflects on her relationship with Michelle Dessler. (Set in S2)


The idea for this story came after talking with a friend about S2. I was telling her how a new convert to 24 hated Carrie Turner and this friends proclaimed Carrie one of the "most hatable" characters in 24 history. This made me wonder if it was possible to make her sympathetic and thus this story was born.  
  
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"There's a nuclear bomb in Los Angles." Michelle says to me in the same tone one would reserve for a small child. "We've been put in charge with finding it. So why don't you start, by analyzing these."   
  
A thousand replies come to mind, each more cutting than the last but this wasn't the time nor the place. I give her a tight smile, I know she hates that, and say "Fine." Then I take the files and walk towards an empty desk.   
  
Michelle and I started working for CTU around the same time two years ago. We had even entered for the same reasons -- the same reasons most of our class had -- because of 9/11. We didn't hit it off right away, to be honest she thought I was "intimidating" and I thought she was a boring little mouse. Like most rookies we were both assigned to Division.   
  
We saw each other around but didn't really talk until one day after a particularly boring staff meeting. I was in the bathroom fixing my hair and Michelle stormed in. I asked her if she was ok and she said she was "fine" but that "someone should remove the pole from Chappelle's ass."   
  
I laughed, partly because I had often thought the same thing and partly because I was surprised to hear something like that from her. She was always so mild-mannered I didn't think she was capable of being funny...or mean. When I got to know her, when we became friends I saw that she was more than some boring goody-goody that everyone mistook her for. She was funny, intelligent and probably one of the best friends I ever had.   
  
When most people meet Michelle they see this sweet girl. Michelle even confided in me that people had problems taking her seriously because she seemed like a soft-touch. I felt bad for her and told her she needed to be more assertive, she had to be a little mean to get respect. Truthfully, I thought she was a being a little coy -- even then -- but Michelle has this aura about her that just makes you want to protect her. I can't explain it.   
  
When most people meet me they think I'm a bitch. Maybe they're right. Then again most people aren't much better. I don't have a problem with my ball-busting reputation either but what gnaws at me is how people buy Michelle's "poor little me!" act. What they don't see is how petty and irrational she can be. I try to be nice to her, I went up to her said hello and even gave her a compliment and what does she do -- she gets hostile and then tells me that she's the boss here. Well, good for you sweetie! Although you might want to rein your emotions and try focusing first.   
  
I didn't say that, obviously, I just clenched my jaw and smiled. Saying anything to her would be pointless, she would just respond by flying off the handle and somehow I would look like the bad guy. I was on her turf after all.   
  
That's another thing. Michelle complains about no one taking her seriously and then she decides to pull this shit? And this isn't the first time -- she does this constantly. I remember before she transferred out of Division we got into this huge argument at work that ended with her screaming and then bursting into tears. She looked like a lunatic! I was torn between being angry and feeling humiliated for her.   
  
Not that I need bother.   
  
Guess who came out looking like the bad guy? That's right -- me. Thanks to Michelle's theatrics and her brother's incessant calling most people at Division had guessed what had happened so now not only was I the villain, I was a home-wrecking whore as well.   
  
And Michelle was still the same innocent martyr.   
  
If there was anything I regret it was taking up with Danny. I don't even know why I did! It's not something I do, falling into bed with other women's husbands, if there's one thing I don't like it's playing second-fiddle.   
  
No, I know why I got involved with Danny, it's for the same reason I became friends with Michelle. Danny was so different from the type of guy I dated, so sweet and shy. He was insecure but instead of being annoying it was adorable with him. He admired me for being "strong" and bold, just like Michelle said she did.   
  
I didn't want to get into a relationship with him. Aside from the fact that he was my best friend's brother, aside from the fact that he was married with children, he also had some mental problems that added to the powder-keg situation. Michelle had told me that Danny was bipolar, he had been diagnosed as teenager after a few "incidents." But he straightened out his act and he had met his wife Cathy in college. Cathy, like Michelle, was one of those perfect, saintly types. So patient and so kind. He loved her, he credited her with saving his life but he resented her at the same time. He resented being the screw-up, the unlikable one, the one that made her the "saint."   
  
I understood.   
  
One thing led to another and we started sleeping together. I thought about telling Michelle but I didn't expect anything to come from it, I thought it was just a fling. I liked being with Danny, I liked Danny but I was never looking for anything serious. Danny, however, thought it was something more. He started becoming clingy and possessive. When I found out he was calling work for me I ended it.   
  
The next day I came home to find Danny waiting for me on my apartment steps. I told him it was over he told me he was so sorry for how he treated me and that he was willing to commit to me -- that he had even left Cathy for me.   
  
I never asked him to leave his wife.   
  
I was furious, I told him that it was over between us and that there would never be anything more. He kept arguing with me and finally I told him I would call the cops if he didn't go so he left.   
  
The next morning, Michelle wasn't at work because of a family emergency. Around noon she arrives at work and tells me that Danny was in the hospital after trying to kill himself. I told her I was sorry and before I could ask how he was doing she starts laying into me -- "How could I do this to her? How could I destroy her brother's family and his life..."   
  
I knew that she was upset but when I heard that last line I snapped. I destroyed his life? What? And Danny was some innocent bystander in this, please. I wasn't expecting her sympathy and I knew that Michelle's loyalties would lie with her brother but I thought we could at least act like adults about this. I knew she would be angry with me but to paint me as the evil seductress and Danny as my prey? Right, Michelle should lay off the soap-operas.   
  
Unbeknownst to me, that martyr act extends to Danny as well as Michelle. Maybe it's genetic.   
  
I explained to her how the phrase "it takes two to tango" applied to our situation but she still didn't get it. Saying I had betrayed her and Danny and that I "should have known better" than to get involved with someone as "fragile as Danny."   
  
That's when it got ugly. I told her that one of the things Danny and I bonded over was our mutual dislike over Michelle's patronizing, holier-than-thou attitude. I told her how sick he was of always feeling like the black sheep to her "perfect daughter" routine and that having an angelic, long-suffering wife to play the misfit husband to was more than he could stand sometimes.   
  
It was cruel, I admit. I knew it as soon as the words came out of my mouth but I was just so tired of listening to her deluded worldview. I just wanted to knock her off that pedestal once and for all.   
  
Michelle transferred out of Division after that and we hadn't spoken for months -- until today. Now we have to try and play nice and work together. Any hopes of that happening went out the window though about 5 minutes ago when Michelle decided she'd rather be condescending than civil.   
  
I know I am just going to wind up losing my temper with her and doing something I regret. That's how it always is, I escalate the fights even if it only hurts me in the end. But she starts them, today, like so many times before, she fired the first shot. 


End file.
